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How To Fix Star Wars

Trip Owens

Star Wars is very near and dear to all of us here and Dadgum Nerds. If you haven’t heard Episode 002 of the podcast, go check it out here and listen to the passion for this multi-generational, modern-day myth. Of course, there’s so much to talk about that we couldn’t fit in all into one podcast, so here are a few other points about what’s wrong with the Star Wars movies and how to fix them!


Don’t Franchise


I hated Revenge of the Sith when it first came out. Granted, much of my ire was begotten by unmet expectations. I was so overly hyped for it that nothing ever could have satisfied my vision what the film was going to be. But even 15 years later, when I’ve (mostly) cooled down, I still had one major gripe: Order 66.


I don’t have any problem with the fact that it exists, but it came out of nowhere! I mean, what’s the opposite of deus ex machina? I’m just supposed to accept the fact that the clone troopers have a Pavlovian switch that makes them pew-pew all the Jedi? There was no foreshadowing for this in the prequel trilogy! Nothing!


Go ahead, go re-watch Episodes I-III (and nothing else Star Wars) and tell me where there’s a hint of evidence that it’s coming! I’ll wait.

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*humming star wars theme* bum bum buh DUHHHHH DAHHHH bumbum buh DAAHHHH DAHHHHH....

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. *Sigh*

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Meesa gettin' pretty hungee okie-dayyy?

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See? Nothing!


But when I chatted with a friend of mine later on, he mentioned that he LOVED Episode III because he had read the books and had watched The Clone Wars animated series, which had filled in these gaps between the films. He explained that most of the people he knew who had read or watched that content really loved Episode III because they had context for Order 66.


I know I’m about to sound like a whiny kid on the playground, but….that’s not fair! I paid the price of the ticket and now I gotta go spend MORE cash to understand what in the world I’m watching? No bueno.


And that’s when it occurred to me: Star Wars isn’t movies; Star Wars is a franchise! And to incentivize audiences to read/watch other materials, they keep certain plot threads out of the cinemas and put them into their comics, their cartoons, and more.


As dads, we’re even more strapped for time and money, because babies. And we can’t dedicate our lives to this stuff. But even if we could, it’s all fleeting!

Look at what happen to all the poor souls who kept up with the Star Wars extended universe! All that time got thrown out the window when Disney took over and retconned almost all other materials except the movies.


To make the movies more fulfilling, the powers that be need to focus on telling a robust, character-driven story in each cinematic installment that delivers a strong payoff throughout. Leave us with a big stupid grin on our faces and we’ll gladly pay for the other media. Just don’t make us feel like we HAVE to watch or read that other media.


See ya, Skywalker Saga!


We didn’t get the return to form we wanted for the Skywalkers and their kin. It’s tragic, but it’s over. We’ve missed our chance and we need to move on. It’s time to see some brand new characters completely unrelated to the events in any of the 9 movies or spin offs. The SW universe is so rich that there’s plenty of lore to explore!


New characters, no fan service. I’m all for some cool cameos here and there but it’s become a bit of a crutch. Producers need to do a little legwork and make a story that stands on its own and tell a story we love! The SW universe can be redeemed by reminding us why we fell in love with it in the first place.





Back to Basics

In Star Wars, there’s room for gray jedis, but not gray morals. Like Zach said in the podcast, we need a return to the classic good vs. evil tale in the original trilogy. By trying to blur the line between the light and dark side, the sequels went pretty far off the path and got lost in the woods.

Sympathetic villains are great, but they’re over done. Darth Maul hardly said 20 words in Episode I, but all he did was LOOK menacing and you immediately wanted to slap that horns off his head! And don’t pretend that you didn’t love seeing him get his comeuppance after what he didn’t to Qui-Gon. A new villain that you just love to hate can provide a pretty engaged audience as long as we get the payoff of a satisfying defeat!

What are your thoughts? Hit me up in the comments below and let me know how far off I am or if you think I hit the bullseye!

 

Be sure to check out the Dadgum Nerds podcast released every Monday morning for more Family-First Fanboy Fun! You can find Dadgum Nerds on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube as well!


 
 

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